Am I Enough?
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
The day I became a mother … I remember it well. The precious little boy I had carried for 8 months would not be coming home with me. He had gone on to heaven. My heart was in a million pieces. Eighteen days later, Mother’s Day arrived, along with all the Mother’s Day cards, flowers and gifts that were displayed in every gift shop and grocery store I entered.
That first Mother’s Day was extremely hard for me. I didn’t have answers as to why I lost my baby boy. I felt empty and completely drained emotionally. It took time to find my smile again, to hear my laugh and to finally have a day where I began to feel more like myself. In the midst of my loss, I clung to my faith in Christ and pondered the many scriptures that gave me hope, strength and comfort. In particular, I began to understand in a way I had never known before what 2 Corinthians 12:9 was saying. In my weakness and in my heartache, I realized I could do nothing — absolutely nothing. I became totally dependent on Christ to be my strength and to help me get through my days of deep distress. It was only when I became so weak, and couldn’t get the strength I needed on my own, that I realized the power I had in Christ. I was drawn to Him and that began my faith journey which I am still living, learning and growing in today.
Over the next three and a half years, I was blessed with three beautiful children. Becoming a mother, has changed me in so many wonderful ways. Most of all, it has grown my heart bigger and my faith deeper. Children are such gifts. Each one comes individually wrapped with their own unique personalities and talents waiting to be revealed. As it is written in Psalm 127:3: “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.”
Motherhood. It is indeed so much more than giving birth and saying, “Yay! Now I’m a mom!” In those early days, weeks and months, it’s crazy sleepless nights, exhausting days that seem to last forever, and wishes for just a moment so you can take a shower or grab a nap. And then there’s the worry — Is my baby eating enough, weighing enough, getting strong enough??? And maybe one of the biggest questions of all — Am I enough?!!!
It may seem like you’re going to run out of energy or run out of patience on most days. You may feel like you’re being depleted faster than you’re being replenished. So, how does a brand new mommy get a grip when she feels like she’s losing a grip on the woman she once knew herself to be? She begins by looking into the eyes of her child. It’s there she’ll find she’s not lost herself at all — rather, she’ll see she’s gained a new dimension to herself. She will discover all her sleepless nights are what is watering her heart to grow the kind of love that blooms big and bright even in the darkest of nights. She’ll soon discover she’s on the road to shaping the most beautiful part of her heart yet — that special place where she’s sowing a kind of love known as a “mother’s love”. There’s nothing else like it and it becomes the driving force for all she does. A mother’s love is selfless, persevering and undying. It grows stronger and deeper with each tick of the clock. A mother’s love cannot be wholly defined. It must be experienced to truly understand it.
Motherhood is everything hard and everything wonderful and beautiful all at the same time sometimes. ♥
If you’re a brand new mom who is feeling a bit overwhelmed and weary today, I pray you will feel loved and be encouraged. Above all, I pray you will know without a shadow of a doubt that you’re enough — because God’s enough!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful and beautiful mothers of the world!
With my whole heart,
Diane